Can Purell be used as lube?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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