Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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