He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
