I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
