I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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