she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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