Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
we're making bets on your personal life
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I need moral support for this bender
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
