You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
