ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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