I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
