Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
