so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
