Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize