So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
