dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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