What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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