We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
