A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
