the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize