Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
