We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Randomize
