Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
