just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
