There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
