Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
