ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
