I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
