dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
