YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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