Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
