isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
