he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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