So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
