im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
