Is it normal to miss your booty call?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
