Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
