Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
