Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Alive.
So much puke
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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