I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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