we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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