he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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