It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Non-Jews are for practice
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
