I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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