you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Randomize
