i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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