These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
