she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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