i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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