How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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