my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
