Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I look better un-naked...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize