I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize