I want to stick my p in your. b.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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