its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
