someone threw a dead crab at me
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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