a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize